Voces

Voices:

"Always the same, Every day when I go to work,  

I connect the GPS and then I begin to hear voices"

El sueño de todo padre freaky

The dream of every freaky father:

"Son, I'm your father"

El poder de la invisibilidad

The power of invisibility:

" My grandson says that the transfer of powers to Rajoy has been started"

"What power has been passed already?" 

"The power of invisibility"

Que no lo llamen Paro

"Don't call it The dole":

"It seems to me correct that homosexuals are entitled to the dole,
but don't call it The dole"

Cuando quieres evitar el tema...

When you want to avoid the subject...:

"Nervous?"

"Yes, a little"

"Is It your first time?"

"No, I've been nervous in the past"

Mejorar en la gasolinera

 Record of time at the petrol station:

"Dad, you've improved a lot! 

 It takes you less time to put 30 pounds of petrol in the car! "

Cómo se siente ?

How do you feel?:

"Don't you say, Doctor, that the importat thing is how I feel?  

Well today I feel like that!"

(In Spanish the word"feel" is similar to "sit")

Debe ser difícil enseñar religión

It must be hard to teach religion

 "Homosexuality contradicts the laws of nature, for this reason it is wrong"

"And what about the virginity of the Virgin? "

Madres inexpertas

Inexperienced mothers:

"they told me to use lullabies to get the baby off to sleep, but I'm only scraping his skin"

(lullabies in spanish is a trademark of wire wools)

Cómo saber que es garrafón

Slang:

"If you have to ask the waitress to stop! this is slung"

A qué aspiras ?

What is your aspiration?

(Spanish pun)

Preguntas importantes en carretera

Important questions on the road:

"Who are we? where we come from"

"is it much further to arrive?"

Autorrealización

Self:

"There is something strange, my idea of self overcoming coincides with my idea of self-destruction"

Fútbol

Football:

"Your football team didn’t play well today, that's all"

"You can’t talk about it, you have no idea about football"

"By the way, mama, this food is bland and dry, no taste"

"¡!??"

Necesidades básicas

Basic needs:

"My love! Don't you like my kiss?"

"Just a second! I had a week without peeing"

Renovarse o morir

Reinvent or die:

"What dilemma, reinvent or die!"

"Maybe a cold bath that has a bit of both"

Atasco

Traffic jam:

"On the radio say the traffic jam is 8 miles long and  

was it already planned, what do you think?"

"I think there is intelligent life, but not on earth"

Eternas discusiones

Endless discussions:

 "I'm sorry! but If you don't update I won´t support you!!"

Dieta

To be on a diet:

"I have one week diet"

"and how much did you lose?"

"seven days" 

Sopa de letras

Alphabet soup:

" I think my mom will have a little brother"

"Do not believe everything you read in the alphabet soup"

Para qué vives?

Why you want to live?:

" If you do not smoke or drink or fuck, why you want to live asshole?"

"I live to see you all die of cancer and AIDS cirrhosis, asshole "

Extraños

Strange:

 "Why don't you answer mi calls?"

"sorry,I don't talk to strange people"

"we know each other since we were kinds!!"

"Yes, I know, but you're very strange!

 

Practicar sexo

having sex:

"Ei!! Let's have sex!!"

" No thank you, I'm fine, I have a lot"

Buenas costumbres

Healthy habits:

"orange juice, exercise before eating...nah!!"

"The best!, to start the day with breakfast on an empty stomach"